Top Ten Benefits Of Climate Change

A.k.a changes in average temperature, precipitation, and weather conditions over time and over your neighborhood and possibly in your bathroom.

10.

Squirrels finally defeated.

9.

Attractive people forced to wear less and less clothes.

8.

Amazon won’t be around by 2040 so you no longer have to feel guilty about ordering all those [choose one or more] [baby wipes/pet accessories/reams of printer paper/Crocs/Stanley Quencher H2.0 Flowstate Stainless Steel Tumblers/protein supplements/Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Concealer tubes] which feel simply unbearable to wait for and/or drive to go get.

7.

Pool parties 365!

6.

Normalizes weaponizing of house and/or land and/or Volkswagon.

5.

De-proliferation of cauliflower pizza crusts.

4.

No need for drudgery of job.

3.

Constant fights for survival create awesome bods.

2.

Free skyscrapers.

1.

Speeds up development of interplanetary travel and thus likelihood of encountering race of empathetic, lonely, bizzarely gorgeous aliens with cash to burn.

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